Things baby bring with them to occupy our house!

Look at those tiny little feet! They don’t seem big enough, but sure they do come with a huge package. Most of you will end up buying every cute thing we find in the store for those squishy bums. I did that not once, but twice.

For my first pregnancy, I was refrained from buying baby items due to some customs as per Indian grandparents. But I still managed to get few items. But not as much. I didn’t have that great knowledge of what babies need and what my mom knew was the outdated version. Somehow I managed to get few things and we moved to US when he turned 5 months. After coming here, I learnt the most important things that people get here for babies are, not considered important back in my place at-least among my family.

Hence, when I got pregnant for the second time, me and my husband made a list and budget for the baby and started shopping the moment we knew the gender. And before we knew the gender, we always window shopped. The most popular store in here “BABIES R US” was going out of business and we would hit their store every week for the best offers. We got lots of stuff for Nevin than what we got for Jivin and I don’t regret most of my buys. I also managed to get some used gear, to reduce our expenditures. I wanted to share the top items I felt that was useful and few items that were not so impressive.

Before I list out the items, I want to let you all know that. There is purely my opinion and I am saying, “you should/should not have these items”. My parents and their parents grew up more than fine without almost all these items. According to me, these are the luxuries that we are providing for our kids. All the babies need is Love, affection, Nurture and lots of kisses and cuddles.

First, let me list the basic important items,

• Car seat – whether you have the law enforced in your country for installation or not. Please make sure you get one. It is important and definitely safe than a baby in our arms.

(I got it for half its retail price in a store, this particular piece dint come in its original packaging)

• Stroller– The only place you will feel you can go out with a baby is a mall. You get food, you can shop and most of the malls have nursing rooms. So the stroller lets you navigate easier, lets your baby sleep in a safe place while you have your food or do your trial room fittings and you get a place to hold all the diaper bag and stuff in a place.

(From babies r us closing sale)

• Crib– If you prefer co-sleeping, It’s not worth it. With Jivin I preferred him sleeping our side and now with the second, I got a crib. No particular reason. It’s just that I get to sleep only 4-5 hours a day and at that time I want my space. I already shared my body space and my bed space I couldn’t share.

(Found in the Facebook marketplace)

• Bouncer/rocker/swing – For the first few months babies sleep like a baby and for those who don’t a rocker comes in handy. We got a 2 in 1 swing come rocker.

This came in handy I used it as a swing in his nap time and as a rocker for his play time while I cook or get my chores done. Plus, it’s a space saver.

(Found in the Facebook marketplace)

• Bathtub– Bathing a baby is like handling the most expensive china pattern. So, have a bathtub to make your work easier and also the baby will enjoy the bath time.

 

These are the big items which are needed and bought by most of them.

I am listing below some of the lifesaving items I got for myself which I thank for, again and again.

• Boppy nursing pillow – If you are nursing mom, close your eyes and get one. No questions needed. I still use it. It has saved me from the shoulder and back pains. I missed this when I went to India. We think we can use our normal pillows. No, they are not the same.
• Sound machine – Babies might find it hard to sleep when it’s too silent as a small noise can make them up easily. I found one of this in the Facebook marketplace. It has options for white noise, birds chirping, waterfall, rainforest, and few lullabies too. We might have an app for it. But you can keep your phone on for a whole night or during the daytime. What if someone calls you? Don’t risk it.
• Swaddler– As I already said the newborns can sleep like a baby. But if they are not, they need a swaddler. The swaddle blankets are good, but if you are like me who suck at swaddling get those velcro swaddler. The swaddle me brands are great. They have swaddlers for up until a year old and sleep-sacks for up until 2 years old.

We use the 3 and 4 now whichever works at that time.

Nevin has the startle reflux and he needs to be swaddled from waking up frequently, by frequently I mean every 5 minutes 🙈.

• Nasal aspirator/Saline drops – Imagine those tiny little noses facing difficulties in breathing due to nasal congestion. Any medications is usually not recommended for babies under a year old in such cases, all you can do us suck the boogie out of their nose. In 6 months, Nevin had cold/ cough for at least three months and major part of it was in his newborn phase. You could have found me having a bulb syringe most of the days when Nevin was a tiny squish.
•  Car seat cover – 

Similarly there are few items I have felt was definitely not worth the money and efforts I have put in.

• Crib mobile – I got not one but two different kinds of them, which were not worth it. At least for my kid he would never even have a look at it when he is crying ininconsolably or he would get distracted mostly by the music, so he never went to sleep having it on his crib.
• Baby toys – Most of the baby toys were definitely not needed for us. I got one for his car seat which was expensive but he never was interested in it. Then I got one for a very cheap option which he likes.
• Feeding bottles/drying rack/bottle cleaning liquid – Let me be clear, I am an exclusively breastfeeding mom, who always has and will support only for breastfeeding a baby. I have nothing against moms who decide to formula feed though. It’s their choice. I tried hard to pump and feed Nevin so that both my husband and myself could take turns. But my baby was so particular about not taking the bottle. I barely drank from bottle for like couple of weeks and stopped it all of a sudden, And then I found myself comfortable nursing him as I could do anything and everything while nursing him. So I the bottles and stuff I planned for him never ever worked out and they stay untouched in a corner of our house.
• Pacifiers – For a baby who hated bottles also hated pacifiers after 4 weeks. Since he was ok taking pacifiers for the first few days, we thought we should try different kinds and tried all shapes. Now the pacifiers are used as chew toys for both my boys 😂.

These are the few things  that was on top of my mind I had used/just bought up until 6 months now and I put them together. Please share what things you found useful or waste, when you had your baby. If you liked this post, I could do another post on this too.

 P.S . I realized I forgot a major item. A baby carrier, as previously promised will do a separate review on that 😊.

 

If you see a Mom, Smile !

It was a couple of days before we went on our India trip. I wanted to get a pedicure badly. Since Husband was working all through the weekdays, it was really hard for me to find time for myself. So, one evening I decided to take Jivin with me since he also needed a haircut. I thought I could get my pedicure while he got his haircut in a nearby salon. When we reached and they said they didn’t have an appointment for Jivin. I already had an appointment, I got some snacks for Jivin from the nearby vending machine and got ready for my session. Just then the person who was attending me told that I can’t have a kid with me while I was getting my services in there. I told them, it would take some time to drop him and come back as it was snowing and my appointment time might be done by that. They checked with their supervisor and the supervisor suggested Jivin had to be seated and not get down on the floor. I had no other choice so talked to Jivin about that and he sat in there for the whole 45 mins while I got my pedi and Mani done. I myself was so amazed because I even was not sure he could stay put for the whole session. But, I was more worried about the baby, whom I left behind at home. so, I kinda was in a hurry all panicky. Just when I was about to pay my bill, the ladies in there(customers and employees ) kept praising Jivin which I just smiled it through as all I was thinking was about Nevin.

One kind lady came up to Me and told me, “Your son did a good job and you should be proud. I can see you have put in a lot of hard work raising this little man “. Honestly, I wanted to hug that sweet lady, not because she appreciated me but because she was kind to me “a complete stranger”.

Yes, people! I don’t think moms do their thing for appreciation or recognition. They do it out of love only pure love. So, when they do it all they expect is LOVE not hate, not dirty judgmental looks. A mom might be smiling but you don’t know what is running in her mind. On that particular evening though I had a well-behaved 4-year-old with me, I was rather worried I left a 4-month-old baby home. Some people might frown that I have been selfish taking care of myself rather be at home with a newborn. Though I show up as if I don’t give a shit about other people’s opinion on me, I still let it affect myself. When a really kind lady approached me to appreciate me all I wanted to do was hug her, but I didn’t. I didn’t want her to think I was crazy.

I have a very open confession. I have been judgmental before I got married after I got married, while I was pregnant when I had only one baby. I realized it all was a mistake.

NEVER JUDGE A PARENT (full stop). NO MATTER WHAT, NEVER DO THAT.

Every mom has her own struggles and she is fighting her own battle. Please let her be. Smile at a mom, in school while picking/dropping your kid, in a mall when she is managing a kid who is throwing a tantrum, in a play area where her kid seems to be rude and she is standing there helpless.

During my first pregnancy, I saw a couple of people carrying their babies in a carrycot. I judged them totally, I thought why do these people have babies when they cannot carry them in their arms. I learned my lesson on my recent trip to India. I missed my baby’s car seat very badly. Every time I got tired of carrying him in my arms, I used to think I wish I had his car seat with me, so I could get a minute.

Back in days before my marriage, I was in Chennai and my aunt wad there to visit us along with my cousin. My cousin was probably 10-11 years old girl and I was in my early 20s. We visited a beach and she was hating that the sand stuck all over her legs, my aunt was not happy with her and we (me and my sister) helped her to dust all the sand away. My aunt told me I would be a very good mother all patient and calm.

BREAKING NEWS: I AM NOT. My son throws the same tantrum on our every visit to the beach and I end up getting frustrated. Why is that I was patient and calm with my cousin and not with my own kind. I question myself. I doubt myself a lot as a parent. I keep thinking, my kids deserved a better mom. But, at the end of the day, that is how a mom is.  she is tired and exhausted but never stops thinking about her kids.

I came across this wonderful message on Facebook, which I wanted to share.

“Smile at a mom. I’m positive she is doubting herself, and your smile is reassurance that she is doing a good job. You have no idea how much that means to a mom who thinks she is failing”