Say “YES” to vacation with Toddlers !!!

What came to my mind when I thought about road trip with toddler for 6 hours ? An IPAD loaded with all his favorites. I started a week back, trying to download rhymes into an iOS system. And I did it, I had an hour rhymes with me. But That wasn’t enough. I can’t expose him to screen time for 6 continuous hours. I needed back up, the day before our travel I realized I could have got a car seat tray for him. I knew I was late coz it was not available in the nearby stores. So, Instead I carried a cookie tray with me.

I carried healthy food and snacks on top (fruits, nuts etc..)  , then moderately healthy snacks (crackers, veggies strips), then have to hide the bribe(able) snacks ( chips, cookies, etc..). Also snacks have to be separately packed for the 3 day survival in our vacation. I had to find hideouts inside the car to fill in with snacks and toys. 3 day survivals would go back of the car. Next the toys, I carried his electronic laptop, phone, play doh, handmade puzzles, threading toys, and lots of books.

Our plan was to leave at 5 am in the morning, So I should be loading the car atlas an hour before that. I needed a pattern in arranging stuff in the car. So, I loaded the car the night before (except the fruits and milk, as I needed them to be fresh in refrigerator). loaded the toys and snacks in the back pushes of front seat and the space in the dashboard. So, that I need not carry a heavy bag occupying my leg space and also, this reduced the need to stop the car regularly.

Jivin was bathed and dressed the night before going to bed. On the day of travel, we woke him up at 4:55 am and took him to his car seat. He was cranky and whiny of course. We spoke to him, explaining how we were going on a trip and that lead to some calm. He was quiet for an hour or so. Later when he started to whine, we put on some of his favorite songs singing dancing in the car  😜☺️😊. After 2 hours, we took a break for breakfast, which almost went for 45 minutes. It gave him sometime to run around play and change of diapers. Had his breakfast too 😉.

When we resumed our journey, with a Skype chat with the grandparents. after a while he napped for an hour-long. Then again, starts all the whining,  crying, kicking the car seats, again some snacks from the top helped us this time. Then, I brought out the play doh which went about for about 35 minutes. Then the threading toy, the laptop, all I can say is I managed him until we reached Chicago outskirts with all these. He got cranky when we entered into the city with the traffic and speed limits( I don’t know about him I definitely got cranky about that 😜). So, I just opened the 3rd set of snacks, to keep him busy for a while.

So, Until we reached, we did not need the IPAD, which made me want to boast about it in my blog. The story of the next 3 days, Mom Need a vacation. So, please DO NOT JUDGE ME 😊. Screen time did save me a lot 😊😜😁

Keep calm and Read a Book.

“Children are made readers on laps of their parents ” – Emily Buchwald

That snuggly cozy feeling when you have you little ones close to you, is the best feeling in the world. Once they are toddlers and start to move around you will miss those cuddle  a lot. Now we get this time while reading !

Neither me nor my husband have been a bookworm. But, I don’t know why the idea of reading to our baby was something we always were onboard with it. It was not until later, I realized reading to your kid is a golden opportunity to nurture them. We started reading to Jivin, when he was like 2 months old. Mostly what we started was the picture books naming the animal, fruits etc.., It was later when he turned 8-9 months old, we started reading to him board books which I got from thrift store. I came across the below image randomly on Internet, by a Mom showing the collection of baby books. So, I decided this as my ultimate goal.

 

Later we visited “Barnes and Nobles” for the book hunting,which made me fall in love with the kids books. I wanted to get almost every book in there. The collections in there were mind-blowing. So that day, I picked 3 books, which included the classic Eric Carle’s “The very hungry caterpillar” crossing off my first of the “ultimate goal”.  Also, after this visit I realised my engineering books were lot cheaper than these one 😉😜

Later when I heard from my neighbors that we can access the local library, I made a visit. It was too good, many baby/toddler books were available, the feeling of not being able to own so many books faded away seeing the library. We have read almost 70% of my ultimate goal. I own the “chicka chicka boom boom” (got as a freesbie for attending  a paid kids event) it is the most fun way of learning the alphabet. I also own “brown bear brown bear”, one of my favourites from Jivin’s books. All these are classics, which every baby needs to read.

No.! I did not read through out my pregnancy, I wasn’t that kind of person 🙄. Also, He did not just hop on the board for reading activity. It was a really slow and regulated process. The initial books I got from thrift store were stepped, drooled, chewed and torn into pieces. I never showed an interest in books. Just to make him sit in a place and to do a quiet activity we used to keep on offering him. Sometimes I read to him aloud while he was busy engaging other activity. Making sounds and enacting the book a bit also helped probably. Slowly he started to bring the books to us. The attractive colors and pictures brought him nearer to books, this also reduced the screen time for him.

Jivin was kind of falling back in meeting some of his milestones, Reading books, helped us a lot to move forward. One more book was “first 100 words”, which played a major role in his speech and language development. It is highly recommended for babies around a year old. He would point each and every picture in the book and ask me to name it. Even though non verbal at that time, he would disagree if I named anything wrong. If I read a page wrong, he would  disapprove it. He knew all his books. He even now knows which page has what in it. Now, When we are around books, he expects the phones, laptops, to be kept away. We read for our meal times, play time, enact a book some days, books keeps us sane when either of us are sick.If you want to skip a nap fine..! still we need quiet time so read books for a while. Nap time and Bed time never happens without reading atleast 4 books, ten times each probably. It is tiring, but we sometimes we dont want to crush his affinity for books.

Along with Jivin, My husband and me started to love the habit of reading.

Mom’s struggle against T(toddlers) V(valentine)…

These days when Little J asks for “Amma….TV.. wheels on the bus?”, my brains actually start working faster, I keep saying “Dammit..! Think of something to distract him”. It is a combat to keep these toddlers off TV. I confess I hate it when my boys (I have only one son the other is you have to guess it  ) watches TV.

I am not that Mom , who could say that my Kid has never ever watched TV so far. Yes my son has watched right from 3 months. I need a break  from him how much ever I love him. I need to keep it together when I am in the verge of losing it. But I choose what he sees (at least up till now I have managed to). He watches rhymes so far, I just switch it on lie down on the couch for a power nap while he sits beside me and watches without shutting his eyes.

Because I give  him that TV exposure, I try to indulge him equally in other activities. I came across a video from the ECFE class (It’s a class for both mom and tod) I attend for my son. In that they once had a session explaining why TV isn’t recommended  for toddlers. Babies and Toddlers Brain is a developing one, it actually grasps everything with actual human interaction.Tv Just shows of random things and will not do the actual interaction. Studies say that the amount of screen time they get in their younger age affects their ability to concentrate as they grow older. Every hour they watch Tv as a kid will reduce their ability to concentrate by 10%. There are lots go blogs and videos confirming them. you could just google them out. I’m placing one of them here, which I came across in the parenting class.

Ok! So, I need my me time and give his screen time reluctantly, Is there something I can do to compensate that? Yes ! lots of interaction with your baby can reduce or even nullify the effect of TV. For example, if they watch an hour of TV daily, then taking them to play ground for an hour can nullify that. Yes! Every hour you take your child to a playground increases their power of attentiveness by 10%.

Also, I noticed the more the screen time the more violent were his tantrums. The stuff they watch may be kids stuff but It isn’t “us” that is teaching them something. A box can never replace us in any way. That is what I realized. Being a SAHM, with no help around I am compelled to give him some screen time when I am having very bad days.

Most of the days, I try  various other stuff. Until Jivin turned 2 and could be little independent, I would drop off all the work and just sit with him when he wanted me around. I would take him outside take him outside and stroll around telling him stories, even though we had to eat all day. When I look back at pics of young Jivin, I realized my house looked like a mess.

Now, I include him in all my chores, I leave him with laundry basket asking to put it in the washer. We do lots of things together like, cooking, chopping vegetables, peeling onions, potatoes and eggs, washing the vegetables, vacuuming the house, cleaning up his room, grinding in the mixer, loading the dishwasher. It might take me hours to do these stuff with him, which could be done only in minutes by me. This way it keeps both of us busy. On days when I need to work alone, I give him a bowl of beans and a spoon which he loves to spoon and dump. A tub of water with a sponge where is he can squeeze the water out. Sometimes letting him peel of a banana, orange, pomegranate, shelled pistachios. These activities also helps him in his development of motor skills.

When its bright and sunny,  we take a really long walk, spotting the vehicles, chasing the goose, which also helps in increasing his appetite and making him tired. When its rainy and cold, we have our own dance party indoors. Sometimes we work out, run around the house crazily, laugh out for no reason (He likes to laugh like that).

There are millions of activities for indoors and outdoors, it’s just a google far. Pinterest is all about ideas for the laziest moms like me,I practically live on that. There are many Facebook groups out there that helps with engaging the toddler, I follow these groups below. Many awesome moms gives out wonderful ideas.

Early Learning and Positive Parenting India for Preschoolers and Toddlers

Play, Learn & Explore with Tot Labs by Mumma Diaries

Zero percent screen time is something I can never do. I’m just a mom, who is trying to find the balance between the right and the wrong. When I am having really bad day rather than yelling at him, a screen time is definitely better is what I feel. Similarly, Reducing the screen time can give us lots of our time with  Jivin.

Mom ! I can do it myself!!

After a bath today, Jivin refused to put on his pants and shirt.

Me: Kana pants potukko da. (Put on your pants dear)

Jivin: Pants ema ma..( I don’t want pants momma)

Me: ends? (why)

Jivin: inno pants ma (I need another pants ma)

Me: Neeye un shelf la poi solaria Enna pants venum nu( DO you want to pick your own pants)

Jivin runs to his shelf, picked his own choice of pants and shirts which obviously I dint like. He had to go to swimming class in an hour and this wasn’t the way I would dress him up. Reluctantly I had to dress him up with the pants and shirts he chose. Once I dressed him up, he had this big smile  and he asked me, “Nalla irukka? super a irukku” (Do I look good? I look super).

 

It striked me how much he has grown up. I was amazed by the fact that, how he started to appreciate himself for being independent. It makes him happy. Once in a while letting them do what they like no matter what the world thinks is gonna build their confidence and strengthen the self-trust.

Jivin now wants to do everything independently from brushing teeth to getting in his car seat. Last week we had a struggle of buckling himself in the car seat. I couldn’t let him do that by himself as it was a matter of safety. So we had to come to a compromise, he gets to put the upper buckle and i do the lower one. He learnt wearing a buckle is hering that “click” sound. he always makes sure he hears that click sound.

For brushing the teeth, we do two turns, mommas/daddys turn and his turn, that way he gets the control and we make sure his teeth is clean.

This whole independence  thing is driving me crazy, still I have a responsibility of not crushing his spirit. Learning to be patient and giving him some time is helping me go through this stage. This spirit during the potty training sessions, will make you exhausted and tired 😓 . I will reserve that topic for my next blog.